The Ark

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Dreamcatcher's Blog (30)


Sorry I have not been around, but I was doing some hard time. Paying back the man with no eyes. What can I say. You disrespect me, you get cut. That's the way I roll. Could use some female company ladies. Randy does not describe it. Got a knew prison tattoo. It's Master of the control dressed up as a clown with one tear coming out one eye. Katballou! You better not have cheated on me, or I'll kill your puppy. Xfashionfacist! I made a bracelet for ya out of my hair. Can't wait to put it on ya.… Continue

Added by Dreamcatcher on October 5, 2009 at 12:21pm — 2 Comments

Kat.Ballou said…hey guy

I simply will not tolerate this! How dare you! I will not have my social misanthropic persona penetrated like a wayward Catholic school girl. You Madam take great risk in addressing a man of my station like two inebriates at last call. Best you find your place girl before someone puts you in it. The world is not all Cheeto's, and cheap beer girl. I would wager your Hope chest contains nothing more than vulgar Cd's and concert tee shirts, in all the latest wife beater styles. I am very riled… Continue

Added by Dreamcatcher on August 8, 2009 at 10:38am — 3 Comments



Added by Dreamcatcher on July 29, 2009 at 7:44pm — 12 Comments

Mr Bean gets a car

I am getting the Nissan Cube. I was going to get the Smart car for two, but received nothing, but scorn from family, and co workers. It will be the ultimate shag wagon. Maybe Blanchnoe, and Nobodyschild will have a spare 5 minutes. I can't wait to go cruising. I will run MOTC over, then take Xfashionfacist shoe shopping. Then I'll drive up to Canada to have Anotherbrianne ice my balls while I spit blood. While I'm up there I'll have some beavers slaughtered to make Katballoe a hat. Then I'll go… Continue

Added by Dreamcatcher on July 1, 2009 at 8:06pm — 4 Comments

The man is keeping me down.

When I was twenty seven, I decided to became a fireman. Why? I wanted comrades, and not co-workers. I wanted a job with a little swagger. Something I could be proud of. The safety of government benefits was a great perk as well. Nobody looks down on firemen. I got a personal trainer, and got into terrific shape. I studied the civil service Manuel's. I visited places I wanted to live. I came up with wanted to be a smoke jumper. Very macho indeed. Then a girl broke up with me, and I fell into… Continue

Added by Dreamcatcher on June 28, 2009 at 11:29am — 2 Comments


I'm sure some of you corporate, professional, sales people jerk offs will know what I"m talking about <3

I have taken the Landmark Forum. It's hard to explain what it is, but I'll tell you what I wanted from it. I am stuck in my life, and am looking for something that will help me move forward. Ambition, confidence, and self esteem would be good tools for me. At 8:30 in the morning I sit and listen to a 3 hour explanation of what the forum is, at the end of which people are asked… Continue

Added by Dreamcatcher on June 22, 2009 at 7:31pm — 1 Comment


Well Hedy hoe to your languid tart vomit. It is not alternative art when you get your prose from the walls of toilet stalls. Get up! The club is closing. Is it not enough that you chew our om age timeshare with red bull inspired poetry. How little you know child. Precipitous to future parking meter allegory, chew well your eraser.

Added by Dreamcatcher on June 18, 2009 at 8:48pm — 2 Comments

When the student is ready, the master will appear

So I'm in the bar talking to some stuffed bra, puffed up hair, stiletto heeled, skin tight dress, black lipstick tramps called Katballou, and Xfashionfacist. That they have the names of some Ark people is completely coincidence. Some guy I don't know, in my proximity, starts acting like an asshole. Basically the drunk, loud kind of guy you find in bars. He is not directly interacting with us, but here is the catch, because I'm in the tramps disgust vector, I'm now considered an asshole. No… Continue

Added by Dreamcatcher on May 26, 2009 at 7:32pm — 1 Comment

OCD and other adventures

So. I go to my secrete bathroom to take my before lunch poop. I first flush to toilet even if it's clean. I take some paper towel, and wet it. Give the whole toilet seat a wash. I follow with some more paper towel to dry it. I take a toilet cover, and pop out the middle. Make sure it's distributed evenly around. Then it pull down some tissue, and throw it out. I start the facet running, but not to much because dripping is louder. This will come in handy to drown out the farting sounds. I can… Continue

Added by Dreamcatcher on May 21, 2009 at 8:46pm — 4 Comments

The love that never speaks it's name.

OK! I don't need to shop at Costco, but something about stalking middle aged, married women with kid's just feels so right. Yes I mean milf hunting. I was doing my fourth circuit of sample stands when I saw her. Forty, sweat pants, and a pony tale to round out the image. She was pushing a cart filled to the brim with a toddler on top. I could tell by the six pack of shaving cream their was a man involved. The gold band confirmed it. I veered off threw the power tool isle. Drills, power washer,… Continue

Added by Dreamcatcher on May 20, 2009 at 8:38pm — 3 Comments

I have absolutely nothing to say

I just want to make an appearance

Added by Dreamcatcher on May 9, 2009 at 12:05pm — 4 Comments

Anyone want to do their laundry on my washboard stomach?

So summer is almost here. NJ actually has nice beaches. I like to stroll the beach in my Ocean Pacific bathing shorts. Mostly I like to stare at girls in bikini's. English girls are probable very pale. That's OK. Crabs scare me. My middle aged lady friends are sexy. I want to hot tub with them.

Added by Dreamcatcher on April 25, 2009 at 8:13pm — 1 Comment

Leave Walmart alone

People work at Walmart because they choose too. I don't want the cost to got up, and I'm tired of unions having to much power. When a union has power over their company, that is an issue for the company to deal with. If a union has power over the political process then I feel my rights are being infringed. Money controls politicians, not the good of the masses.

Added by Dreamcatcher on April 18, 2009 at 10:19am — 1 Comment

An open letter to all the women of the ark

Ladies! I find it morally, if not viscerally, repugnant the bodacious representation of womanhood being displayed on this site. The truculent, or more to the point, acerbic yowling from the weaker sex on here reviles modern societies basic expectations of subservience of those who would be your better. If I were to be adviser to your men, reverberations off your firm, young, pink buttock's would be the whale song of the neighborhood. It saddens me to know that perky, tone breast reside on those… Continue

Added by Dreamcatcher on April 13, 2009 at 6:34pm — 3 Comments

Thought I would share

A patient asked me how I learned to be so gentle, I told her prison. Another asked me how I have such patience, I told her I hold it in, and then take it out on my cat. I'm not very good at what I do.

Added by Dreamcatcher on April 11, 2009 at 12:55pm — 2 Comments

I am basking in your awesomeness

I get a lot of really cool comments on my blogs. Thank you all, accept MOTC

Added by Dreamcatcher on April 10, 2009 at 8:28pm — 3 Comments

Commie chicks are hot, and put out like freaks.

Go on you trucqulent, acerbic coo-lade drinkers. Have your large coffee, but don't forget to call it a Venti. You can have your organic apples as long as 9 year old Jesus can climb over the fence. I would rather stay on the fringe than lick the boot of you Hight Definition cosmopolite people of the world. Does the Che Guevara's tee shirt come in XXL?

Added by Dreamcatcher on April 6, 2009 at 7:22pm — 2 Comments

Please disgust me

What is the sluttiest underwear you own and what is the story behind them? Mine are the ones I stole from the laundry basket when the women was not looking. Granny panties make me feel like I have a secrete all to myself.

Added by Dreamcatcher on April 6, 2009 at 7:03pm — 3 Comments

Peoples who's throat I would rip out, and why.

As a Vampire, I have eclectic tastes.

Kat Ballou would taste like domestic beer. I would probable have her blood running down my cheeks, as I call Xfashionfacist at 3 AM crying for one more chance to slurp upon her black liquorish hemoglobin. Anotherbrianne would be satisfying , but I would get hungry again in an hour. I'll keep her chained in my basement. I would feast upon MOTC in the closet, but then never talk about it again. Blanchenoe, Sedona Leigh, and Nobodyshild99 would be my… Continue

Added by Dreamcatcher on April 3, 2009 at 7:30pm — 5 Comments

Don't read if your easily disgusted. How I prepare for a date

1) Get a hair cut

2) Take a dump

3) take a shower and loofah my whole body

4) shave very closely

5) Brush, floss about three times

6) put on deodorant

7) take another dump. It's hard to be on a date when you need to fart.

8) put on very small amount of Cologne

9) whack off. You can not do this to early because you may reboot. It is the best prevention for blue balls, and you will not be a horny, puppy dog, tool. There is nothing better to turn a girl on… Continue

Added by Dreamcatcher on March 11, 2009 at 6:24pm — 3 Comments

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