The Ark

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BlancheNoE's Blog (88)

Stories For An Apacolypse 2

I blame Jordan Peele for this one too. An homage to Rod Serling’s “Eye of the Beholder”.



                                                                 Camera Ready, No Filters

                                                                                         By BlancheNoE 11/11/2020

  ‘He will finally love me and only me. I will be enough.’, Jackie thought to himself. His mouth felt like it was stuffed with hay and his face was numb. He could see blurry,…

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Added by BlancheNoE on November 11, 2020 at 6:00pm — 1 Comment

Stories for an Apacolypse

                                                              Fulfillment

                                                                             BlancheNoE 2020

  Chelsea bent down and used her thumb and middle finger to flick the beetle off the side of her beat up boot. ‘Beetle boots’ she thought to herself and chuckled. She remembered her mom saying it when sixteen year old Chelsea came home from the thrift store with pointy, black boots on proud…

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Added by BlancheNoE on May 17, 2020 at 8:00am — 2 Comments

First World Problems



                                                                     First World Problems

                                                                                           - BlancheNoE

   I’m here to talk about a very serious medical issue that effects thousands, possibly millions of married couples worldwide. I call it Jealous Colon. That’s right, I’m going to go there. I am of an age that I am allowed, if not expected to talk of such things.

   …

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Added by BlancheNoE on March 25, 2018 at 11:55am — 5 Comments

I Think the Folks who Wrote This...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmVLcj-XKnM

probably read this first :

http://www.openculture.com/2016/07/in-1988-kurt-vonnegut-gives-seven-pieces-advice-to-people-living-in-2088.html

I hear there's something or other going on in politics right now but I haven't had time to pay attention…

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Added by BlancheNoE on August 2, 2016 at 8:40pm — 2 Comments

Proper Protocol For Returning to a Social Sharing Website After a Long Absence

After extensive studies and multiple clinical trials (1.3) management has developed a S.O.P. (standard operating procedure) for all returning prodigal sons and daughters.

1.) Make a very short video while looking into the camera and say :

" Are you still doing this ? ", leave 6.3 seconds of silence for dramatic effect and then say : " wow." *end*.

2.) Wait six to eight weeks for your first view or comment (6 months to a year if you're aiming for…

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Added by BlancheNoE on December 12, 2015 at 11:30am — 6 Comments

Canary

Just dropping a lyric here to publish. I was thinking about a song I wrote for my son when he was 3. It was about the trials and tribulations to come. Then Ursula K. LeGuin's "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas" barged in on my brain party and she brought with her the crew of scientists that are watching evolutionary shrinkage as a survival necessity and , well...working on the music now so while you're reading imagine a really upbeat-boppy tune

I’m the one they send in after…

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Added by BlancheNoE on November 29, 2015 at 12:05pm — 7 Comments

Sad Day in the Multiverses

As you might have heard, Leonard Nimoy shot out of earth's orbit today leaving our little rock less fascinating.

I'm grateful to have been alive while he was spreading his particular brand of intellectual acting-genius.

I marveled at the characters that seemed to be written just for him when in actuality it was he himself who made those characters his own. He inspired me to learn balance between my emotions and logic and he was a total fox right up until the day he stepped off…

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Added by BlancheNoE on February 27, 2015 at 6:00pm — 2 Comments

About a Dog

My step-mom died @ 1:30 am this morning. We had our differences over the years but there were times when we were actually very good friends. Even when we weren't the best of friends we never lied to each other, not even little white ones, and I always appreciated  that aspect of our relationship. I was with my 4 sisters last night until 10:00pm, in the facility where my step-mom was in hospice and many stories were told. I want to share the story of her dog.

 My step-mom's name was…

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Added by BlancheNoE on January 10, 2015 at 8:44am — 7 Comments

What's Your Resolution?

Mine is to ignore critiques of movies.

We watched Armie Hammer and Johnny Depp in The Lone Ranger last night and found it to be brilliant on nearly all known levels. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1210819/ ;

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lone_Ranger_(2013_film)   (click on 2013 film from within this link)

There's a lot of "Little Big Man" in…

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Added by BlancheNoE on January 1, 2015 at 11:30am — 7 Comments

Thankful

I just mainlined Jimmy Kimmel’s Mean Tweets and I’m feeling thankful for having done so and I wanted to organize them here to share with you so you can do the same. You can’t eat just one.

The best one I ever got, which was actually a Mean Comment dropped at LiveVideo, was something about me fucking my brother and then some ponderings on my personal hygiene and what my genitals probably smelled like.

Do you remember yours…

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Added by BlancheNoE on November 22, 2014 at 9:37am — 13 Comments

Tales of Charlie

So my sister and I found my brother Charlie's biological mom and I've been telling "Tales of Charlie" again. For those of you who don't know, I had a beloved brother named Charlie and he was quite a character. I wanted to share this tale with you. It is a true tale. I call this one

                                                                  Subjugate

I was about 10 years old and Charlie was 12 or 13 when I came home from school on a day that a police…

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Added by BlancheNoE on November 3, 2014 at 9:18pm — 6 Comments

Perfect for Fright Fest !

Would somebody who knows how to embed in a blog please embed this  (in comment section) ?

http://vimeo.com/17259912

...and then do a blog about how the hell to embed shit in the blogs ?

Added by BlancheNoE on October 9, 2014 at 9:00pm — 4 Comments

For a Certain Sensitive Someone...

Okay, It's for LtAdams. Who the hell else would it be for :

If it turns out I'm too stupid to embed, just use this link >  http://vimeo.com/19469568

<iframe src="//player.vimeo.com/video/19469568" width="500" height="281" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen></iframe> <p><a href="…

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Added by BlancheNoE on September 27, 2014 at 9:00am — 2 Comments

I Can't Believe I Left Him....

...in the car again with the windows rolled up in 70 degree weather  a day before his birthday.

Happy Birthday pen !

I only remembered because when I stepped out onto the back porch this morning at 5am the squirrels had left a charred pile of peanuts, sunflower seeds and those weird spikey balls . It looks like they tried to use a twig as a candle and it sorta' went lop-sided. I'm still trying to figure out how they got it lit. I don't think it's the AIs we have to worry about…

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Added by BlancheNoE on September 12, 2014 at 7:00am — 4 Comments

NJ's New Foster

Nature Junkie has the craziest new foster dog. Why are the beautiful ones always crazy? Something to do with breeding I suspect. If you want to see her new addition, go over to her VloggerHeads channel and take a look or if enough of us beg her (with sad puppy-dog eyes) maybe she'll post it here too. Her new dog is so spectacular that it's even got me thinking of moving to a place that accepts animals so I can get one too. NJ, if you're reading this, is your new dog "fixed" ? Can she have a…

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Added by BlancheNoE on August 13, 2014 at 8:00am — 5 Comments

My Husband is a Squirrel Racist

He wants me to knit them little sweaters so he can tell them apart. He says they all look alike.

*crosses arms and exhales with disdain*

Finally, the crack in the rock that was our marriage.

Added by BlancheNoE on May 11, 2014 at 10:37am — 6 Comments

I Would Like to Draw Your Attention to...

...this :

 

 

 Sabovlog: A Humble Man - The Ark

Added by BlancheNoE on March 22, 2014 at 11:57am — 1 Comment

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