Whatever floats your boat...

So Now What?

It's happened. My husband has asked me for a divorce. Exactly what I wanted... and I don't have to be the bad guy. Except that I am.

In the last 24 hours I have come to realize some very painful truths.

I have been depressed for so long... I have blamed him for so much. I have stayed emotionally unavailable for most of our marriage, not only from him but from my girls.

I'm leaving tomorrow. I am going away for a month. I am going to take some time to figure out why I have been so sad. I am going to just take a breath and decide what it is that I want to do with my life and how I want to live the rest of my life...

So I don't know what comes next... but I am going to just try to put one foot in front of the other and see what happens...

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Comment by JustAnotherUserName on June 9, 2011 at 11:30am: Dee...take baby steps with this, too. You're about to go through a whole 'nother set of twists and curves that you won't even see coming. Concentrate on getting through the day, try not to play the blame game, and know that this is indeed an exciting new chapter in your life. You don't have to (and realistically cannot) plan the rest of your life right now. Life has a way of doing its own thing regardless of your plans. Concentrate on ending the marriage with love and respect. The rest will follow.

Keep blogging. I think that helps you!

xoxo

Ruth

Comment by Marie on June 9, 2011 at 1:34pm: Sending lots of positive energy your way.

Comment by NatureJunkie on June 9, 2011 at 3:36pm: What Ruth said. I've never been through a divorce, so I won't offer guesses as advice except to see this positively as a new start for you. You are totally free now to reinvent yourself.

Comment by JustDee on June 10, 2011 at 9:16am: Thanks ladies, it does help to blog.

I am someone who always tries to plan for the future, but I am forcing myself to not do that. I am trying to live in the here and now and just get through each moment as it comes.

I plan on making a list of the things I would like to accomplish while I am here, things that I believe will help me gain some insight.

I will probably blog about it later, so I don't want to give anything away...

Comment by SydTheSkeptic on June 10, 2011 at 10:49pm: :o)

Comment by Pypermarru1 on June 12, 2011 at 11:34am: I know you will find a way through. Make sure you keep reaching out.

Comment by Geoff on June 13, 2011 at 11:53am: I'm very sorry. I hope you explore the possibility that your depression may have a physical source. Soul searching is always good but some problems have a largely biological component.

So Now What?

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