Whatever floats your boat...
Today I went to an OA Meeting (over eaters anonymous) that is a 12 step program for people who compulsively eat. I decided to utilize a 12 step program because I feel it is my best chance first of all to create a network, 2nd of all, I feel it offers me the best opportunity for extended success.
I wasn't sure I was going to get there. I decided last night to go...but this morning, fear set in. Fear of meeting people I didn't know. Fear of having to stand up and say I had lost control of my life. Fear of being vulnerable in front of people I didn't know. But going was one of the first things I promised myself and I knew I had to do it. So I called my sister and asked her to join me and she did. (thanks Syd)
It was a little uncomfortable for me. There was a lot of talk about your higher power and I am not really comfortable with all of that quite yet. But there were a few things that really struck a cord for me. The first step is to acknowledge that you need help and that your life is out of control.
I acknowledge that my life is unmanageable and out of control. I acknowledge that my overeating is a symptom and not the cause of my problems. At the core of it, I need to be fat to protect myself. I fear intimacy. I don't want people to want to touch me, I don't want to be hugged, I don't want people to breath the same air as me.
My fat is a my shield.