The Ark

Whatever floats your boat...

I got my therapist flowers, because the pony ran away.

Alone once more for Valentines Day. Oh to have a choice in the matter. I would love to have some sexy thong to spend my cash on. What is this Holiday, but a reflection of past conquests compared to present day difficulties. But hey! What am I talking about? There is a whole spectra of possibilities. We have all done it. Why not now? I just got to compile a list of choices.
1) Hot. Is girl you would choose if you had a choice. Someone just out of reach.
2) Cool. A perfectly acceptable girl you would be happy to be with.
3) Eh. You could say she is pretty, but no real sparks
4) Um. A slight feeling of disappointment, but nothing to be ashamed of.
5) Fuggly. The no frills brand. She has everything you need for a good time, but only if your horny.
6) Fuckable. Some shame is involved, but better than not scoring at all.
7) Doable. Seriously lowering standards. Basically you take an image of a girl you like and paste it in your head while shagging said girl.
8) Masturbation. Enough said.
9) Hogging. Lowest form of self hatred. Requires much alcohol, and a dare from drunken friends
10) Being hogged. Being past out while hog has her way with you.
All I need is a little cash, and for mom to drive me to the club in her station wagon. Got to go to my parents basement to get dressed. This could work out fine. I'm very optimistic.
REMEMBER LADIES, AND GENTLEMEN, ONE PERSONS FUCKABLE IS ANOTHER'S EH, SO GO OUT THERE WITH YOUR HEADS HELD HIGH, AND LOOK FOR MR. OR MZ. GOODBAR.

Views: 10

Comment by Pypermarru1 on February 14, 2009 at 1:50pm
I would have to agree with Deb....No shame in #6 but I always shoot for #2....avoid #1 and never accept #3,4,5,7,
Now, #9 and #10 are just mean so I would not particapate.
#8 is a fundamental my friend.....universal unspoken law of fact. ;0)
Funny blog.
Comment by NatureJunkie on February 16, 2009 at 2:57am
My priorities are exactly the same as Pyper's.
By the way, Pyper, which number am I?
Comment by Kat.Ballou on February 16, 2009 at 7:22am
I got high on Valentine's day and took a 4 hour nap.

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