The Ark

Whatever floats your boat...

Time: 18:14 EST
Location: Philadelphia International Airport, USA

Waiting for my plane. It’s a long wait but maybe that’s because I don’t want to get on board. I’m about eleven hours away from anti-climax.

The routine goes like this. I land. Collect my luggage. I go outside and am met by a friend or family member. This is a bittersweet moment as I’m happy to see them but with that comes the reality that I’m....home.

Home. That word should bring to mind images of happy times and loved ones. So why doesn’t it?

Everything from this point on has that clawing air of claustrophobia attached to it. From the dollars I just exchanged into pounds with the Queens polite but oh-so-serial-killerish smile to the prevalence of foreign-yet-familiar accents I can hear in ever increasing numbers. Even the song playing randomly on my ipod has just said the words “I’m going home”. Life has a sick sense of humour sometimes.

I’m looking through a reflection of myself in a fifteen foot tall window at a planes turbine. It looks so peaceful right now. Dormant. Waiting for the inevitable. Then again so does my reflection.

Time: 13:01 GMT
Location: My Parents house, UK

Nice to see everyone again. All is well. Nothing has changed, not even the things that should have. Having spent a few hours with the family it is now that everything becomes real. The anti-climax has arrived.

It’s now that the end of the road has come and gone and the blind optimism that maybe it wouldn’t has been replaced by a sense of loss and loneliness. My job is finished, my home situation has changed yet again and remains in flux, I have no transportation, no money and no incomings. Worse still I have nothing to look forward to. This isn’t me being bleak. This is simply how it is.

After four years of working for the same company I have absolutely nothing. It’s time to accept the reality that having made good long distance friendships and a ton of memories isn’t enough in terms of a career path.

Now what?

Views: 8

Comment by photo2010 on November 16, 2009 at 5:27pm
Sometimes a seemingly insignificant, even negative experience, can influence a career direction you would never have anticipated. That was my experience when a friend I had made while working a dead-end job, years later referred me to a job that became an 18 year career that was very fulfulling. It can take awhile, but don't give up hope.
Comment by BlancheNoE on November 16, 2009 at 7:47pm
Aw Danno. I wish I had the power to keep you here but I've already met my quota for human imports. Damn,...I can think of at least twenty people right off the top of my head who I'd trade to the UK for you in a heart beat. I probably shouldn't admit this, but some of them are my own family members. Please keep us posted on how and what you're doing and I'll be wishing for you all that you need and desire (heart-felt hug and kiss here).
Comment by JustDee on November 16, 2009 at 8:32pm
You must feel like your life is in constant flux.. like you just can't settle in. I can relate to that. As a kid, my family moved around a lot thanks to my father's an adult, I have again been forced to move a lot due to life circumstances. It use to be that I would take each move as an opportunity to start over, but quite frankly, starting over has gotten old and doesn't hold as much promise as it once did. In fact, we have lived in the same house for 18 months and as of yet have no plans to move.. do you know.. I don't have one picture on my wall. I figured why bother? It is only now that I am starting to feel more settled and like I might be here for a bit.
I don't know what your future holds Dan, but I do wish you luck in deciding what you want your life to look like. You are still young, so you have time. Just know that no matter where you are there are people that love and care about you.
Comment by JustAnotherUserName on November 17, 2009 at 12:01am
We're buying a pub and BnB in Cornwall in 4 years. You can come play there :-)
Comment by SydTheSkeptic on November 17, 2009 at 10:39pm
Wow!! Can I come Ruth?
Comment by LtAdams2247 on November 23, 2009 at 12:38pm
So you're broke, depressed and have no idea what to do. What can I say. Welcome back to Europe ;-)
Comment by gabrielized on November 27, 2009 at 6:05pm
Perhaps good long distance friendships and a ton of memories isn't enough for a career path, but it is at least not nothing. Hope your time back home brightens up a bit.
I still think you need to explore getting an agent and going for tv, film, etc. You'd still be a nomad, but you might get more to show for it in a way!


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