I've been thinking about all the things I have to be sad about....at least I have been trying to think about those things... I haven't had much success. I actually couldn't think of one thing to feel sad or dissatisfied with. It was kind of an eye opener.
I feel happy, really happy and not drug induced happy either, just satisfied with my life.
Don't get me wrong, there are things I would like to have, such as more money, more freedom to travel, more time to myself...but overall... I think I am in a pretty good place.
I love my husband, he's been trying really hard to be kind, loving and giving to me. I know I have complained about him a lot, but the fact is, he really has a good heart. He has his own insecurities in life and he deals with them the best that HE can, but the fact is that he is really trying to meet me in the middle and what more can I ask.
My girls are starting life on their own terms. My oldest is so happy that she doesn't know what to do with herself. My two middle girls have stepped out into life in a big way and although I will miss and worry about them every second of the day, I know they both needed to do this in order to move forward in their lives. My youngest, I will have the time now to devote to her and make sure she is everything she can be in her life. I am looking forward to really being involved in her life and not having to worry about whose feelings it might hurt. I think she will flourish now that her sisters are out of the house and she doesn't have people breathing down her neck every day.
My job, ok, I don't love where I work, but, I have a job. After thinking about what really made me unhappy at Walmart, aside from the politics, the fact is that I have always been the big fish in the little pond. I have always worked in either an office or a small retail establishment where everyone knew everyone else. We were always a close knit group of people. At walmart, I am a small fry in a really big ocean and overall, I think thats what I don't like about it. I have always stood out as an over achiever who was ambitious and hard working, but at walmart, well, the chances of moving forward and being noticed are almost nil. During my 'happy therapy" I have been sure to go to work with an upbeat attitude and even if no one noticed, it helps me get through the day. The fact is that, I don't let anyone leave my department without a smile on their face. That makes the job worth it.
Financially I would love more money to afford the things I would love to buy, but again, the fact is, we have everything we need. We may not have extra, but we have enough to pay our bills and maybe go out once in a while...that is more then most people have nowadays.
The only thing I am really not happy about is my weight and health issues, but that is something that I am working on and although it may not happen as fast as I would like for it to... I know I will get there eventually.
The truth is, I have nothing to be unhappy about and in fact, I am quite blessed. Maybe all I ever needed was an adjustment to my attitude... maybe that is what "happy therapy" is really all about....
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