When the Romantic Bubble Bursts (please share your stories)

[Jim]

Romance is a very powerful state.  You can get quite swept up by it.  Everything around you can contribute to the feeling of romance, making your heart swell and your spirit soar, until...something destroys the mood.  Your mother-in-law leaves an audible message on the answering machine about her eczema while you're having passionate sex with your spouse.  You're sitting on a sun-warmed rock feeling the fine spray from the ocean waves on your face when some seagull excrement suddenly appears on your knee.  You're deep in the emotion of a Wagnerian opera when an audience member decides to exit and steps on your toe in the process.  Does this sound familiar?  Has something like this ever happened to you?

My son went on his first date with a new girlfriend this afternoon.  They walked to a restaurant to have an after-school meal.  Lucas had it all planned out to be nice and romantic so that she would be thoroughly won over.  Much to his dismay, he forgot to bring his wallet with him!  She was cool about it, and paid for both of their meals, but I know he was dying inside.

What has burst the romantic bubble for you?  Everyone has a story to tell, I'm sure.  Does one generally recover from such incidents, and build the romantic feeling back up?  Or is it like being awakened from a wonderful dream, such that you can never go back to sleep and continue it from where you left off?  Is the feeling of romance a fragile, delicate thing, that can easily be spoiled?  Or is it much bigger and more powerful than that?  I'll be fascinated to hear everyone's views and stories on this subject.

[Smokescreen]

I remember growing up and being in love with the universe, until... I discovered politicians. That ruined everything for me. I still haven't recovered from that tragic day. :-(

[Jim]

I know what you mean, Smoke. That and infomercials.

[Christine]

lol this blog was sooo funny, brought back memories. Many times long ago with different boyfriends I would be been thinking 'we' were so in love and that every second with him was precious and then once when he was about to have to leave for a few weeks and we were going to the pub for our last date for a while, he invited his friend along!!, or another time I was saying how beautiful last night had been and he would say "oh I'm thinking about today now, I don't ever think about yesterday" and other comments that has made me conclude that men just aren't romantic and lost in a love cloud in the way that I am when I'm in love. I've learnt to keep one foot firmly on the ground of reality.
I do love romance though. The best times of my life are when I'm in love.

[Jim]

Perfect examples, Christine, and they show that the bubble can be popped from "within" and not necessarily from the outside (and not necessarily accidentally, either).

[Jim]

Your story is awesome, Sara, not only for its entertainment value, but because it shows the romantic bubble being blown to shreds by a barrage of machine gun fire, as opposed to softly bursting with a tiny "pop". Ironically, what the two of you went through, all those physical and emotional hardships, ended up becoming part of the romantic landscape.

[JustAnotherUserName]

When David and first met, I was very recently separated from my husband (of 22 years) and living in Florida. I came to California to attend a convention. I met David, ditched the convention and we went to Santa Barbara for the rest of the week. HIGHLY out of character for me...I'm such a goody-two-shoes, really!

It was totally, completely and utterly love at first sight. I knew I was probably rebounding, but didn't care. He was (and still is) amazing in every way. I remember one night I said to him that we should try to hold on as long as possible to this feeling because it would never be as sweet and intense and carefree is it was that week.

I was right.

But we've just moved on to other intensities. We got married a year later and will have our 5th anniversary later this year. We have a great, really fun, love, music, and German Shepherd-filled life. My only regret is that my son Joey decided to stay in Florida with his dad. All the parents and step-parents are very friendly and visit each other often (my ex and I stay at each others' homes on our cross-country visits) and we have it all worked out, but I wish I had both kids here with me.

So the bubble hasn't exactly burst, but it gets a little deflated sometimes as real life intervenes! I will say that the more realistic version of love the second time around has been much more fulfilling--probably because of everything I learned the first time around...!

[Jim]

Thanks for sharing that, Ruth. I feel like I know you a little better now. You were fortunate that a rebound relationship turned out so well (but as you mentioned, the wisdom that you brought with you surely played a part in its success). It seems that as we get older, we have more practical things to consider when embarking on a new relationship than we did in our youth (work, kids, ailing parents, etc.). Not that we can't have serendipitous experiences occasionally, as your story amply illustrates.

[Jim]

I have an update on the status of my son's romantic adventure. Yesterday he had a second date with the same girl (and just so you know, these dates are group dates that include other friends), and it went much better. However, he's wondering if he's really chosen the right girl, because although she's nice enough, she's just not very exciting to him. So we'll see what happens. In twelve days, they're going to a school dance, so I'll try to post another update after that.

[elaurenzo]

Glitter of Chitta,  and patina of tarnish.  The One lives through it all.

Up becomes Down depending on the Point of You.

Loss of sparkle is a deficient ulcer that Suicide could be the option.  We don't go there, (something fences off this desolate region so far).  Distant memory of a gulp of air between dying dying dying?

This, and this "this".

 

[Jim]

And with that, you have just joined Keats, Shelley, and the rest of the Romantic poets.  Well done!

[elaurenzo]

Percy Bysshe Shelley, "Adonais" (selected verses)

The One remains, the many change and pass;

Heaven's light forever shines, Earth's shadows fly;

Life, like a dome of many-coloured glass,

Stains the white radiance of Eternity,

Until Death tramples it to fragments. - Die,

If thou wouldst be with that which thou dost seek!

Follow where all is fled! - Rome's azure sky,

Flowers, ruins, statues, music, words, are weak

The glory they transfuse with fitting truth to speak.

[ThatGirl]

From my experience, uncontrollable natural circumstances have always endeared a person to me more, if they handle it with Grace, Humility and/or a healthy sense of humor. Being caught out in below freezing temps in a dangerous part of town, locked out of a car once, was difficult to endure, but being with a person who's main focus is keeping one "safe", made the whole ordeal bring us closer together. Romance has a way of surviving events like that, if it is carried by the underlying Love for one another.

The forgetting of the wallet happens to every man at least once. Lucas should be grateful to tick that one off his list and glad he was partnered with a lovely girl when it happened.