Journal Entry 1

Comment by BlancheNoE on June 9, 2012 at 2:27pm

Hey Beth. First off: *big hug*

You are making so much sense. I have always said that if you are comfortable in your beliefs there is no reason to try to proselytize or try to tear down the faith of others ( unless they are proselytizes when you've shown no interest ). For me you are proving my theory that "God" , however you view he, she or it, is in each of us. Lift a rock, he/she is there. Split a log, he/she is there. The power is in us and all around us.

Now.... I feel compelled to give you my personal opinion on divorce. vs. staying in a loveless marriage. It does  no one any good, especially children involved, for two people to stay married because of dogmas or principals. In essence by staying in a loveless marriage you are saying that you don't deserve another chance at love or life. Humans are so terribly flawed that second, third, fourth and hundreds more chances are a necessity and as far as I'm concerned implied from birth into this existence. You are a beautiful person with a lot of love to share and you deserve love in kind.

Comment by Cluelesswonder on June 9, 2012 at 7:16pm

Thanks BlancheNoE...You are still awesome!!!! I totally agree with you about living in a loveless marriage.  Mostly when it comes to my children.  I can see how our fighting hurts them.  I am so scared but, I am not alone.....Thanks for the comment again.

Comment by ThatGirl on June 11, 2012 at 11:06am

Hello Beth. We haven't seen you in a long time. I know you've been struggling with decision-making for years now and on a journey of self-discovery of sorts.  Being scared is okay; thats just how anticipating the future and "Change" works. No one has a crystal ball and you have to make decisions based on your own case and your family's.   On marriage and relationships, only thing I will offer is that there are no two people who are alike, therefore, I believe there are even Less relationships between two people which are alike.  Statistically, that's just how it would appear, being as we're unique complex individuals and all.

Hence, no Rulebook to follow, no standard to meet, but an individual decision to make for yourself. One must do what is right for one's particular circumstance. If you've tried everything you think was a good idea, and it has not worked, with your best efforts put forth, you are taking the next natural step in the progression. 

I've spent years observing people trying to hash out the Definition of LOVE --to no certain conclusions - but commitment and teamwork being huge blocks in the foundation of a marriage,I'd say those things can be measured.

This is just my opinion but my hope is it could serve some purpose to you, that you are not alone, or doing something wrong, its just how things have evolved for you: If the support and sacrifice for each other, for the family as a unit, and a true sharing of responsibility cannot be found in a family, change is inevitable.

Its a Team effort, a marriage. People change with time and marriages need to evolve to allow each partner to retain his/her individuality.  That's a tough recipe to follow and perhaps why many don't make it but.   The way love evolves seems a matter of perspective, as is usually applicable to all aspects of the human condition --but the measurable components like sacrifice and commitment are undeniable.

Only piece of advice I'd give, is not to live in the past, or carry it with you as a burden but to forgive yourself and everyone around you so you can move on and move ahead. Everyone plays a role in a family.

How you feel about your decisions and how you choose to cope with your circumstance is all that really matters. It's Your Life.  Seems like you're doing well with coping, no matter what methods you employ. If it works for you, Celebrate Your Successes and take one step at a time. 

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