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Last week was the 17th anniversary of my Dad's passing. It was also one year

since my Mom passed. I also signed the order to have the lettering done

for my Mom on the monument she shares with my Dad. In a few weeks

we will have the unveiling.


I am trying my best to get through the days. When my Mother passed, I

heard someone say it's a "new normal". I know what they meant, but

I'm afraid that's a little simplistic. I'm still angry at how my Mom was

treated by her doctors and nurses. I am sure she was over-medicated

and mistreated. But staying angry makes my already poor health worse.


I love you and miss you Mom and Dad.

Views: 10

Comment by JustAnotherUserName on March 28, 2011 at 7:14am

I'm truly sorry for your losses, Kevin.  I'm sure being disabled and spending so much time on your own doesn't help.  I know how I feel being alone sometimes, and it isn't always good.  You're right...holding on to anger and negative energy only makes things worse.


Try to stay positive...I'll be thinking about you :-)



Comment by photo2010 on March 28, 2011 at 9:25pm

Thank you Ruth. Your kind thoughts mean a lot to me. You're right, being disabled does make it worse, and I have a lot of guilt that I couldn't do more for my Mom during those last horrible weeks.


I know you're going through a lot right now yourself, and will be thinking about you too ;-)

Comment by NatureJunkie on March 29, 2011 at 3:21pm

Kevin, for quite a few years after my mother died, thinking about her made me sad because she had lived such a hard life. No one's fault, nothing to be angry at--some people just get dealt a poor hand and she was one of them. But with the passage of time, thinking of her eventually brought up happier thoughts and better memories. It took a while, but true to the old cliche, time heals.


I hope it will for you, too. The first year is the hardest.

Comment by lima on March 29, 2011 at 8:20pm

I watched my mom battle cancer for the past several years.  it was 5 months this weekend that she passed away.


I am now just getting back to being myself again.  I don't remember much of anything last couple of months... I too was full of pain and negativity with the way she was treated, her doctor sucked *&^% as far as I am concerned.  


Sometimes I cry a lot because I can't talk to her anymore.   


I bug my dad now every other day... he's getting used to it.   






Comment by photo2010 on March 31, 2011 at 12:24am

NJ, I'm sorry for your loss, and that your Mother had such a hard life. My Mother went through a lot in her life and was a true survivor. I try to remember the happy times, but at the place I'm at, it only makes me miss her more. Thank you for your kind words. :)


Lima, I'm so sorry for your Mom's suffering and your loss. My Mother was home for one day after several weeks in a nursing home and a hospital. She came home for hospice care and her legs and body were black and blue. I know for a fact that she was allowed to fall out of her wheelchair at least 3 times while in the nursing home and hospital. Even the hospice nurse couldn't believe how bruised she was. She died on that one day I had her back home. One of the nurses in the nursing home said to me when I called: "why are you so worried about her, she's old." I will never go to a nursing home if I can help it. I understand how Syd's neighbor feels.


I cry too Lima. Almost every day. I also just want to talk to my parents and hug them again.


Keep bugging your Dad ;)  ((((hugs))))


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