Last Straw

[photo2010]

Wednesday my Mom had a doctor's appointment. I had told the people we pay to help us the night before of her appointment and that it would be around 4pm. I said I'd call Wednesday to confirm. I called around 2:30pm. They had the cellphone that I pay for them to use, turned off. They never got my message and totally forgot about my Mother. They showed up around 3:30pm to collect their pay and the groceries I buy for them every week. We told them about the appointment and they were unphased. This couple has gotten more and more lazy and abusive over the year we've been paying them. We even allow them FULL TIME USE OF MY MOTHER'S CAR, AND I PAY FOR THEIR INSURANCE! Well, Wanda finally motivated herself to take my Mom. I knew they'd be late, and called my 86 yr old Mother on her cell phone after they left to check their progress. She told me that she was sitting in the car in a bank parking lot while Wanda went in to cash the check we gave her. This, even though she knew they were late. I became more and more angry and my Mom was getting very upset. I called her doctor and said she would be there but they were running late.

When they got home, Wanda was yelling, swearing at my Mother as if SHE had done something wrong. My Mom said she wanted her car key's back and Wanda threw them at me. That was the LAST STRAW FOR ME! Thursday Wanda called and asked if my Mother was still mad and if she could pick up the car keys. I said I want the cell phone back, they can't have the car, and that we can't afford to pay them anymore. She did not once offer an apology. I happen to know she's on state assistance for psychological problems, her SO is a doorman in my building who once grabbed my hair and told me to get a haircut. I have blogged about them before, but have been unable to find anyone to replace them. Frankly, I think they are both borderline personalities, but started using them because of a crisis situation a year ago. But I've had enough. I'm investigating helper agencies now, one is called 'Companions and Homemakers'. Frankly, the idea of strangers in our home is repugnant to me, but we have no choice. We are on fixed incomes, and our savings is dwindling. What worries me is my Mother isn't eating now.
I welcome your thoughts and suggestions.

[JustAnotherUserName]

You have blogged about this and I'm sorry it's still an issue for you. Personally, strangers sound better than these people you "know."

Are they just helpers or do they provide nursing care too? Maybe a local vocational college has a job board. I'd ask the receptionist at your doctor, too...maybe they know of someone. What about churches? Are you affiliated with one? I'll give this some more thought.

Times are so difficult now, there must be SOMEONE looking for a part-time job.

Be sure to cancel the phone, Kevin, or report it stolen. They you won't have to pay for the charges.

It must be somewhat of a relief to be rid of them....!

[photo2010]

Ruth, I am somewhat relieved, but concerned about retaliation because the male is a doorman in my building. This couple is not wired right. I cancelled the phone which was supposed to be returned to me yesterday and wasn't.
I've arranged for someone to come from an agency today and tomorrow for a few hours. Thanks for your suggestions. :)

[NatureJunkie]

Kevin, I was just thinking about your previous blog about these people the other day and wondering if you had managed to get other help since then. I'm sorry to read that they are still a threat. I agree with Ruth---even strangers would be better than these two.

But I think it's likely that any stranger you might hire to replace them would be far better. It's hard to believe, considering that care-taking is such under-appreciated work, but there are many, many good-hearted and competent people who do it. I have an 87-year-old friend who is being cared for by an angel. They may be hard to find, but they are out there. I was writing these words of wisdom from Thelma and Louise to Spacemonkey just the other day: "You get what you settle for." DO NOT SETTLE FOR BEING TREATED LIKE THAT.

I would also communicate to the building management or condo homeowner's association about the doorman for the purpose of documenting your history with these people should anything end up in court.

[Jim]

Good riddance!

[photo2010]

@NJ, see my update. Things are looking up! :)

[photo2010]

@Jim, Amen!