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Quest For Purpose XIX

One step forward, three steps back.

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Comment by JustAnotherUserName on April 12, 2011 at 10:13am: I am absolutely devastated on your behalf, Danny. We've all witnessed your progress over the years and have been right there with you, so to have it end like this is really shocking. You must still be walking around in a daze. For what it's worth, my personal experience has been that out of personal devastation grows space for other opportunities and also offers you a chance to maybe view things from a different perspective. If this is going to change you, let it be for the positive. I also know that when people tried to tell me this I wanted to smack them :-) Time heals all. It really does.

Comment by spacemonkey1310 on April 12, 2011 at 11:03am: Thanks Ruth. I'm still stunned about this. Well now it's shifting between stunned, angry, sad and relieved. You are right about other opportunities though. This could be quite exciting after all.

Comment by lima on April 12, 2011 at 4:36pm: As much as I know this hurts, from the sounds of it, it would seem that it might have saved you much in the long run if you had not asked any questions and just went out there on blind faith.

Not to get "sprititual" but in my own opinion, I have found that sometimes when things seem the worse and not working out the way we planned, that even though we don't see the "bigger picture" there is always something right around the corner, bigger and better than we could have imagined.

I guess what i am saying is as much as people don't want to hear it, look on the bright side and try to make something positive out of the situation.

I am very sorry this has happened to you, and I know it's gotta be killing you. Wish I knew what to say to make it better. I always have an extra room if you need a place to stay in the middle of PA... don't think I am being nice or anything, I travel much and need a live-in house kitten sitter! (plus i could get a pup if I had somebody there!) =)

Comment by Victoria on April 12, 2011 at 6:16pm: Hi Danny ~ I've watched your series and can only imagine how this must feel. After all of the angst and readiness toward making a major life decision, and SNAP....it's over. Still, once all of this settles in you might see things differently.

The worst mistake they made was allowing you to see those salaries. You did the right thing by standing up for yourself. Imagine how you would have felt when you figured out the truth later, (after you were in the States)? They would have had you locked in to your employment (with the work visa) and you probably would have felt very tarty knowing how cheap they got you. (A surplus $50 doesn't go very far each month.)

It seems to me that you were saved by the bell. MLS still struggles by comparison to NFL, NBA and MLB in the U.S. Attendance is up for some of the clubs but this economy makes it a challenge to find sponsors.

Sickening to learn that it's all about money. Does something in your gut tells you it's for the best?

Comment by Pypermarru1 on April 13, 2011 at 5:47pm: This blog made my stomach turn. So horrible to hear.

Something kinda similar happened to me once - You are handling it a lot better then I did. It killed my soul for a while. I went to the gym, sat in the steam room and cried for 1 hour - Not kidding. it was weirdly cleansing

You will bounce back. Life gives us no choice but to work through it.

You could always punch your pillow :0)

Comment by spacemonkey1310 on April 13, 2011 at 6:05pm: @ Lima - Thanks. A few people have said the same thing about it probably leading to better things and I really hope that turns out to be the case. If not I can let you have my rates as a cat sitter. I'm crap at negotiating though lol.

@ Victoria - you are absolutely right. I had no issue with them before seeing the salaries. What is disappointing is that the difference in pay has been going on for the last five years but I was always content with what I had so it didn't matter. This isn't the case if I'm struggling to get by. You're right though, much better to have found out at home.

@ Pyper - Thanks. I've felt a lot of different emotions about this and can't say they were all too dissimilar to what you felt. But yeah something about lemons and lemonade springs to mind....or was it lemons and gin? I forget.

Comment by BlancheNoE on April 13, 2011 at 9:37pm: oh shit. I would say " you've got to be kidding" but I know better. Jeeze, Dan. I'm so sorry this is happening.

,..and Pyper's pillow punching suggestion, it can work. I've done it. HARD (make sure it's on a bed and not a hard-wood floor). Shit. The only stuff I can think of to say is all the stuff that made me want to punch people when they said it to me. Hmm,..okay, how about " HIT me,...go ahead, as hard as you can, I can take it,...OH and if you could aim for my liver, that'd be nice "

Love you, Danno.

Comment by SydTheSkeptic on April 15, 2011 at 12:19am: Holy bejeezus, Dan- that SUCKS!!

But ya know what...? Good for YOU for friggin' standing up for yourself! I know it's hard to see (and I'm glad I'm not close enough for you to slap me upside the head for saying this) but this is a victory for you. Growth usually always comes with sacrifice and there was a HUGE price you had to pay for being your own advocate. You refer to this as your "downfall" but shit...you had the wisdom and the groundedness enough to see what you were walking into and you headed it off at the pass.

You were not being "an absolute idiot" for wanting to begin a new life. You were taking a risk. What would've been stupid is if you got on that plane having signed away the next few years of your life knowing full-well you'd be an indentured servant. So, yeah, what kind of fool would get on that plane knowing that...? He would be a fool, indeed, but YOU are obviously no longer that person.

Comment by spacemonkey1310 on April 16, 2011 at 9:17am: @ Amy - I would never smack you unless it was the kiss kind lol. I would kick your livers arse though if I thought it would help : )

@ Syd - Thanks. I know it's a victory but it has definitely come with a price. I'm hoping that one day it can still happen but they have to understand that if you pay peanuts you get monkeys. Meanwhile I'll keep looking...

Comment by Chig on April 16, 2011 at 10:51am: Look at the bright side.... You have a most wicked maniacal laugh at the end of this video. This is how great super-villains are born from terrible injustice. Dr. Horrible (of the epic Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog) taught us that it all starts with the laugh. Its importance cannot be underscored.

I hope you get an even greater job that revolves around ball kicking after all is said and done.