The Universe is a strange place to live.

[photo2010]

A few months ago I got some unusual mail. It wasn't the mail itself that was unusual, they were two pieces of junk mail advertising life insurance from the same company. What was unusual was the word that was handwritten above my address on each piece of mail. The word was 'DIE'.

The mail in my building is put into mailboxes in the lobby, one for each tenant. Some pieces of mail that won't fit in the mailbox are sorted by a door person. These weren't particularly large envelopes, but were left on the floor outside my apartment door, I don't know by which member of the building staff. My aide, who gets my mail, brought them in when she arrived that night, about two months ago.

My first reaction was stunned and upset. I have been having problems with one specific doorman for about a year. He has been verbally harassing me, and my aide has witnessed an incident when I was being dropped off after the unveiling of my Mother's headstone that she shares with my Father. I was rolling my wheelchair out of my friend's van at the entrance to my building, and suddenly this doorman is screaming at me from the lobby doorway to get myself to the ramp on the side of the building. He was ordering me and trying to intimidate me. I said nothing, my aide and I just stared at him. Unfortunately in my building, if you use the single wheelchair ramp for access, you have to be let in or out by a door person. We are not allowed our own key for that door.

After I got that mail, I was experiencing 'fight or flight' feelings. I remembered that there is a state policeman who lives in my building. My aide got his number from a (different) doorman, who was VERY curious as to why I wanted the number. I called the policeman, whom I'd only met once since he moved here. I was very apologetic about calling him, but when I explained everything to him, he took it seriously. He said there was nothing he could do immediately. I mentioned the handwriting on the letters, (lot of CSI watching), and he said yes, it could be used to search for identity, but he couldn't start an investigation without another incident. He took my name and info, and even though I had hoped for more of a start on things, I feel better knowing that someone in authority knows what's been going on. I also keep my door locked at all times now, which I wasn't doing before.

Never a dull moment.

[JustAnotherUserName]

Wow, Kevin...you've really been through the wringer.  I was being seriously stalked for awhile, so I get the "fight or flight" thing totally.  The whole time I've lived in Topanga I've never locked my door, either, until now.  What's wrong with these people?!  Keep a list of incidents and start collecting your evidence.  xo Ruth

[photo2010]

Ruth, sorry to hear you were being stalked, hope that has stopped. I don't know what's wrong with these people, but for the first time in my life I am seriously considering getting some protection, either pepper spray or something more. Unfortunately, even though my door is locked now, my building requires that the doormen have keys for every apartment. Wonderful. I am considering an alarm system, even video monitors. Trying not to get too paranoid, not good for the health. Take care my friend, xo Kevin

[BlancheNoE]

Yes, people sure can suck. I've had experience with this as well. Don't succumb to the paranoia or whoever it is wins more, but certainly take precautions. Here's me sending you protection ((((*)))) and I don't mean a condom.

[Pypermarru1]

That is horrible.  People are nuts, man.  Be careful.  That guy needs to be let go.  Keep us posted.

[SydTheSkeptic]

Kevin, you basically have no key to the entrance of your home, thereby forcing you to rely on someone who is harassing you on a daily basis (with at least one witness).  You should call to find out what your rights are in this case. You don't deserve to have to deal with this!

Office of Program Compliance and Disability Rights
Office of Fair Housing and Equal Opportunity
U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development
451 7th Street, S.W. , Room 5242
Washington, D.C. 20410

www.hud.gov/offices/fheo

[phone] (voice)
[phone] (TTY)

I found that HERE-->A Guide to Disability Rights

[photo2010]

@Amy, Thank you for the empathy and the protection. How are you feeling these days?  I read that you're back at work since your surgery, which sounds wonderfully positive. Some hugs for you ((((Hugs))))  :)

@Pyper, People ARE nuts, and most of the nuts live near me! WTF!

@Syd, Hey there bud! Actually I rarely go out, mostly due to fatigue, but not wanting to deal with the hostility in this building doesn't give me much incentive. My aide and a few others have actually seen another doorman go batshit crazy in my condo once. He walked in my condo without permission AFTER I had fired him, on the day my Mom was brought home for hospice, the day she passed, and he was ranting all over the place (He and his gf had been working for my Mom and me until their bad behavior escalated). I wanted to call the police on them, but my Mom was so sick, I couldn't deal with it all.

Thank you for the great info. I have actually used the Fair Housing one when I fought with my building to put a curb cut in for wheelchairs, (I won :) Take care Syd, and thanks again :-)

[SydTheSkeptic]

Doh!! KEVIN  <--I suck. lol

and you're welcome

[photo2010]

SYD!! You do NOT suck! lol xo