He asks for a shot of tequilla. The bartender replys "Sorry we don't serve strings". So the string leaves.
The next day, the same string walks back into the bar. He asks for a shot of tequilla. The bartender replys "Sorry we do not serve strings, please go away."
The following day the string stands outside the bar debating about whether to go in or not. He ties himself in a knot and frays the bottom of the string.
He goes in and asks for a shot of tequilla. The bartender replys "Hey aren't you that string that's been coming in here all the time."
An elderly lady decides she's going to spice up her and her husband's sex life, so she goes out and buys some fancy lingerie, lights some candles, arranges some rose petals on the bed, sets out some scented oils... the whole shebang, and then she goes downstairs to seduce her husband.
She slinks down the stairs and starts dancing in front of the TV that her hubby is watching.
"What is it now?" Her hubby asks.
"Are you ready for some super sex?" She asks seductively.