So, Does Romantic Love=NEED?

Comment by SydTheSkeptic on February 15, 2009 at 6:07pm

@Blanchie!! I definitely wasn't referring to your song! Your song is BEAUTIFUL!!!!! You and John are beautiful together! Sheesh, I have really put my foot in it this time. I'm very sorry.

Comment by Kat.Ballou on February 16, 2009 at 4:44am

I just typed out a good 20 minutes worth of response and then hit the reload button by accident. yee.

Bill Maher says faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. And of course he was talking about faith in reference to religion but it applies here because I think that holding onto the faith in this manmade concept of romantic love just binds people in fantasy and nonsense and creates a thing that is so desired yet so unobtainable. Amd because there is this universal perceived normalcy of some sort of mind blowing, all emcompassing, everlasting romantic love, people will do just about anything to convince themselves that that is, indeed, what they have.

I couldnlt agree more that the most basic, immediate function that "romantic love" provides is filling holes, whether literal or philosophical/emotional holes.

I've acted so pathetically in the past just to present myself in a way in which I'd assume would be desirable. Never once has anything I wanted for myself played a role in the process. Other than, of course....that unshakeable incessant NEED to feel relevant, important, appreciated. it's sad, very sad.

You're so very right and I wish it wasn't so.

Comment by BlancheNoE on February 16, 2009 at 1:52pm

@ Syd - NO NO NO,...no sorries. Examining one's motives is ALways good. You did good,..
whether you MEANT to or not *smiling while I type that*.

Comment by elaurenzo on February 19, 2009 at 12:05pm

You kneed me Syd.

Comment by PaintedRavensong (Ravensinger) on February 19, 2009 at 6:59pm

You are so right on about having to deal with our own shit before we can really have anything to offer our partners. I've looked to people in the past to complete me and I'm thankful that I recognized it and stopped doing that. Being needed and loved and needing someone isn't a bad thing if the people both can stand on their own separately. We'll never get to that nirvana like you said but we can certainly have done our own work to get to a healthy place. I've learned so much about this over the years and finally feel like I'm in a good place about it. It takes a long time sometimes.

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