47 Dribble

[Smokescreen]

I am hopelessly in love with the world. 

I just had a loss in the family from cancer. The end didn't go well, and I'm not on good terms with cancer right now to say the least.

Bad shit happens in this world. Sometimes very bad shit. But the simple fact that I was here to live and be with the people that I care about makes every moment worth fighting through the hard times. I just don't need or want any reassurement about what might happen to them after they die. I was with them, and we lived. That, is much more important. 

Sure, I sometimes I wish I could live forever, but I also think that would make the moments I have lived less precious. I want to keep wanting more but if I could never loose my life I think I would feel like my desires would diminish.   

Sure, I wish that I didn't have to grow old and live with the pains that I have acquired through the many abuses I have put myself through. I would love to stay young and healthy forever. But maybe not forever. Life is to interesting as it is. For the most part I like not knowing what might happen next. 

There might be a day that I can not go on with the pains from my mind or body. But that day has not come today.

And when that day comes that I do die, I hope I still feel that I could use just a little more time to finish thing up. I want to feel like I could always do more. Just a little more. Sadly, it could turn out that I just want my life to be finished, but today I am still hopelessly in love with the world. :-)

[elaurenzo]

Sums up the life of flowering.  Continue...

[ThatGirl]

@Smokescreen - I had you on my mind so many times, contemplating all the writings you had done here and at LV in the past. I am glad to see your post and so sorry for your loss at the same time. Cancer is a demon, an unforgiving taker, I am so sorry and words are weak, as you know. We all unfortunately are destined to be touched by it in this life, maybe knowing all you know about the gift of LIFE you DO cherish, going on ahead taking all the good your loved one left behind along with you, can be fuel to go discover and do more on this planet in his/her name.  That's how I've found is the more rewarding way to live. With each accomplishment, dedicate it in your heart to the one you've lost, do it to make him/her proud...again, so good to see you again. In time, I hope to read happier greetings...Love DS

[uriel1816]

Wonderful testament to living life and moving forward. I' sorry for your loss but inspired by your expression of love for life in the world.