hot pizza and difficult decisions

[Dana (scribblers sanctuary)]

So, I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Many things are happening and coming together, the stars are aligning, the clouds are parting, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. I like to mull things over for a decade or so before speaking about them but the time has coms...Mr. Scribbler and I chatted about it today...

 

So here's the dealio; I work for a growing ~ and wonderful ~ company that gives me the tools and the freedom to grow and  prosper in any way I see fit. Mostly. The wee bits that irritate me like a tortilla chip stuck in your gums or that hangy downy stuff on the roof of your mouth when you eat pizza that's too hot for human consumption are few and far between and for the most part, negotiable. 

 

So, I am coming up on my 5th anniversary with my company and in a very short time I shot to the top of the heap. I am a member of the National Design Team which allows me to travel; affords me educational opportunities that I would otherwise forego because of my  coughsotightIsqueakcough frugal tendencies; opens new doors of opportunity and affords me the teeny tiniest bit of distinction and prestige. It also gives me a reason to get really dressed up and spend the night in a swanky hotel once a year so they can thank me for my fabulousness while still wallowing very low on the food chain. I'm cool with that. I've been doing what I do in some form or fashion for what will be 29 years in June and still love going to work every day. In short (ok, I know it's much too late for that) I'm at the top of my game at present. 

 

AAAAANNNNNNNDDDDDDD...

 

I will be 50 on my upcoming birthday. Now, if you know me even a bit, you know I LOVE birthdays. Yours, mine, everybody's. Even my 50th. I can hardly wait. It has, however, brought home a realization. The choices I make now are more crucial than ever. If I take a few risks, I could substantially improve my quality of life in the next 5 to 15 years, and retirement will just be a continuation of the celebration. 

 

And therein lies the problem. I suddenly feel a tremendous amount of pressure concerning some career choices that I'm facing. I have several opportunities and fully expect to retire from my company. It's good. It's designed that way. Many doors opened when I hit the ranking of 7th in the company (out of 850ish), when I  made it through the auditions for the design team (they pay me to travel and talk shop), and most recently was awarded Trainer of the Year (I just wanted to brag about that one:c ) Other opportunities though are surfacing and mostly due to my success with my company. For example, I am being encouraged by several Redken Artists to submit the paperwork and a demo vid to become an Artist for Redken. I would still be able to do all the things I'm doing with my company; working behind the chair, training, traveling, etc. It would require a fairly large financial investment on my part because none of the preparatory training is in my area. It all calls for  travel and missing several weeks of work, plus, it's training I will have to pay for because it's necessary prior to sending in my application. I haven't missed several weeks of work even cumulatively in 29 years! I have until the end of December to get it all together if I want to be part of the 2012 Redken Recruitment. 

 

The icing on the cake? There's no guarantees. I could spend thousands of dollars, miss roughly a month of work, and not make the team. And, even if I do make the team, the rewards are more in terms of intangibles than tangibles because it takes several years and several bits of good luck for it to become particularly lucrative. My business in the salon will certainly be enhanced. I'll rise above the mere mortal designers in education and perks, and my skill level will expand so my clients will benefit quickly. But the pay off will be slow and steady and most likely match what I would do anyway without doing the audition at all.

 

So, I dunno. My practical side says it's too much for too little. My innards tell me - hell yeah! Education is everything, always "worth it" and is a monumentally integral part of who I am. My emotional and karmic reaction is that I have a responsibility to magnify that in which I excel and share my gifts. 

 

Any thoughts?

 

 

[NatureJunkie]

Muy fantastico!

 

My method for making life-changing and/or risky decisions is a cliché: I make a list of the pros and cons for each choice. There's something about seeing it in black and white in a quantitative way in front of my eyes that makes the decision much easier because it removes the factors of changing emotion and impulsiveness that can fluctuate from hour to hour when you're mulling over something BIG.

 

But it is also one of my mottoes that investing in your education is investing in yourself, and is therefore the best investment you can make. Congratulations on this very fulfilling time in your life, Dana. It's the best way to be turning 50.

: )

[Dana (scribblers sanctuary)]

Hooray for the voice of reason! We are peas in a pod you and I! Said list is already in the making. I received an email today that eliminated one very large obstacle so I think you may be onto something. Good investments and all. Thanks. :c )

[JustAnotherUserName]

How exciting this is!!  You pretty much have to go for it...and you're one of the most sensible and astute people here (or anywhere for that matter).  Whatever you do will be right...but I've always embraced change in my own life and I'd sure rather do that than wonder "what if...." the rest of my life.  The financial aspect would scare me...but if you're comfy with it, off you go then!

[BlancheNoE]

I must concur with the wise ladies. If you have full support of your loved ones then you hafta' go for it. You don't want to be 80 and wondering what might have been,...but you know that. I just can't imagine you NOT making the team.

[Dana (scribblers sanctuary)]

Ruth - It is pretty exciting but as you know, being a risk taker yourself, the bigger the risk, the bigger the payoff and vice versa. Since I bought my first home 2 years ago, I'm a bit more cautious. coughchickencough

Amy - Mr. Scribbler is a scholar himself as well as a planner, so as long as I don't jump in where fools fear to tread, he's very supportive. I have a certification exam coming in July that I am already preparing for. Only 1 in 4 pass it on the first go round. I suspect that if I do well in that, no one will expect me to do anything but jump in with both feet.  You never know what they're looking for tho but the possibility of failure has never stopped me from making bad decisions before! LOL

[Pypermarru1]

I've made some big moves in my life, but before I do, I always ask myself "Do I really want it" "Would I regret not going for it"  If I answer yes to those questions - I reread my favorite exerpt from Atlas Shrugged (below) and jump head first off the diving board :0)

 

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplacable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours."

 

Ayn Rand is correct, Dana.  If you want it, it can be yours.  JUMP - water is fine :0)

[Pypermarru1]

P.S.  If you do hair and train like you blog?  Done, Done and Done :0)

[Dana (scribblers sanctuary)]

pyper - I am using that quote in every class I teach from this moment on! And excellent advice. Thank you. I should have known to come here first. I love my online friends. Such good advice fun all of you. perhaps I should record the journey.