If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...

[JustDee]

If you haven't already seen it, I posted a discussion on the forums for jokes, funny stories and funny pictures.. please feel free to check it out and after a good chuckle, maybe you can add to it.

Today, I am happy... I didn't want to be, in fact, last night I was working on a great big pity party for myself, but today I woke up and decided that I would be happy instead.

I can't even tell you why I was feeling sorry for myself, just that I was. You know what I have figured out the last few weeks? I have figured out that what "happy, popular, well adjusted" people must have known from childhood. I figured out that being happy can be a choice. I'm not suggesting that we ignore our problems, not in the least, however, it is much easier to deal with our lives when we look at it with a more positive attitude.

Although being able to laugh at yourself is an awesome gift, you don't have to have a great sense of humor to look at things from another perspective. An arkian recently blogged about how negative she felt about her life and I thought while I was reading her blog, "what if, instead of thinking the worst about herself, what if she imagined she was great at all the things she thought she sucked at?" Seriously, what if we all went through our day, purposely, thinking we could do anything? If we imagined that everyone liked us? We were the best parents? The greatest friend? Wouldn't we, after awhile, be able to push those negative images of ourselves out of our heads.

I think that is what I have been trying to do. Lord knows that living in the pain and anger of my life sure didn't help me get over it, but I have felt better these last few weeks just deciding I wouldn't live "IN" that pain and anger anymore. I had already looked at "it"what I call "my life", for years with a therapist. I have already cried a million tears over it. I have already let it affect my life in all the negative ways possible.. and it got me no where, worse then getting me no where, it kept me stuck in the past. Please do not think for a minute that I am suggesting that you not get help if you suffer from serious physiological/psychological issues, such as bi polar disorder, I am absolutely not. I am saying for the person who is just sad, angry, feeling worthless, unloved, useless.... just general feelings of ill will towards themselves and the world, that a simple change of perspective can work wonders.

One other thing, I stopped letting the people giving me negative messages to continue doing so. I love my husband, but his words cut me like no other's, when he says something that hurts me in some way, I usually just absorb the hurt and allow the message that "I'm nt good enough" sink into my heart.Well, I finally let him know that his words had a lasting and painful effect on me. I pointed out to him how I was perceiving his words. You know what I found out? He was surprised. He didn't seem to realize how deeply I was being hurt by his words. In fact, since I told him how his words made me feel, he has been nothing but loving, giving and nurturing. I don't know if I trust it yet, but it was an eye opener to find out that in his mind, he was being funny, not hurtful. He has not said a negative thing to me since we discussed it.. oh, thats a lie, he said something that hurt last night, but I called him on it and he apologized.

My point is this; I am going to be the author of my life from now on. I am no longer going to look to outside sources for validation or approval. I am only going to surround myself with other positive people or at least people who can laugh at themselves and the mess that life is. These are the things that have begun to work for me, not a cure all, but a beginning...

My hope is that by sharing my experiences here, maybe someone else will get something from my words and hopefully it will make a difference in their life as well....

[Pypermarru1]

I have been lucky enough not to put to much stock in other peoples opinions. I know my faults and I am very aware that people walk around with their own shit, so I take most stuff with a grain of salt.
I try and live my life with purpose and joy and leave the childhood baggage in the past. Hard to do but very necessary. another great blog JD.

[JustDee]

Thanks for the support. I know this is a journey and it seems like I am running through it.. I keep taking a few steps forward and then look back to see what I have accomplished... every step is forward movement so I am glad for each step.