JustDee's Blog – June 2011 Archive (4)

Yep,

 

I just keep going around in circles.  I can't help myself it seems.  I think I am ok one minute and in the next minute I fall apart. Maybe I still just have to much time on my hands to think about things.. maybe.. .I don't know.. can't wait for counseling to start...

OK, 

so I have been blogging on blog spot but I really appreciate everyones feedback, so if you have the time, please check it out.

 

http://dnsmrz.blogspot.com/

Today I went to an OA Meeting (over eaters anonymous) that is a 12 step program for people who compulsively eat.  I decided to utilize a 12 step program because I feel it is my best chance first of all to create a network, 2nd of all, I feel it offers me the best opportunity for extended success.

 

I wasn't sure I was going to get there.  I decided last night to go...but this morning, fear set in. Fear of meeting people I didn't know.  Fear of having to stand up and say I had…

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It's happened. My husband has asked me for a divorce. Exactly what I wanted... and I don't have to be the bad guy. Except that I am.



In the last 24 hours I have come to realize some very painful truths.



I have been depressed for so long... I have blamed him for so much. I have stayed emotionally unavailable for most of our marriage, not only from him but from my girls.



I'm leaving tomorrow. I am going away for a month. I am going to take some time to figure out… Continue