Comments - L*O*V*E is also a 4-letter word. - The Ark2024-03-29T00:51:24Zhttp://lovevideoplayhouse.ning.com/profiles/comment/feed?attachedTo=2426069%3ABlogPost%3A124499&xn_auth=no@NJ, Yes, I think my family l…tag:lovevideoplayhouse.ning.com,2011-11-07:2426069:Comment:1251372011-11-07T08:53:22.662Zphoto2010http://lovevideoplayhouse.ning.com/profile/Kevin
<p>@NJ, Yes, I think my family loves me, but the last several years I have despised the browbeating they gave my Mom and me over this type of thing. When I asked my sister in law last week if she would like to live in a nursing home, she cut me off with "that's not relevant". Bullshit it's not! When I told them how much abuse goes on in nursing homes, she suggested I find one that has less abuse. They don't want to hear what i have to say.</p>
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<p>Yes it is a helluva way to turn 60. At…</p>
<p>@NJ, Yes, I think my family loves me, but the last several years I have despised the browbeating they gave my Mom and me over this type of thing. When I asked my sister in law last week if she would like to live in a nursing home, she cut me off with "that's not relevant". Bullshit it's not! When I told them how much abuse goes on in nursing homes, she suggested I find one that has less abuse. They don't want to hear what i have to say.</p>
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<p>Yes it is a helluva way to turn 60. At least my aide cares about me, even though I pay her, she treats me the way family should. Thank you for your kindness NJ. ;-)</p> Hang in there, Kevin, and ret…tag:lovevideoplayhouse.ning.com,2011-11-04:2426069:Comment:1249302011-11-04T22:54:51.932ZNatureJunkiehttp://lovevideoplayhouse.ning.com/profile/Robin
<p>Hang in there, Kevin, and retain as much of your independence and autonomy as you possibly can. I think it's quite likely that even though your relatives have self-serving motives for wanting you to be "taken care of," they do probably love you. Love can be very convoluted, twisted and hurtful, especially in families. *sigh*</p>
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<p>Having such worries is a helluva way to turn 60. But I hope you can find at least one wonderful thing to make that day worth celebrating. It's a…</p>
<p>Hang in there, Kevin, and retain as much of your independence and autonomy as you possibly can. I think it's quite likely that even though your relatives have self-serving motives for wanting you to be "taken care of," they do probably love you. Love can be very convoluted, twisted and hurtful, especially in families. *sigh*</p>
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<p>Having such worries is a helluva way to turn 60. But I hope you can find at least one wonderful thing to make that day worth celebrating. It's a milestone, and I'm glad you've made it.</p> Amy, I forgot the most import…tag:lovevideoplayhouse.ning.com,2011-11-03:2426069:Comment:1248322011-11-03T06:35:53.246Zphoto2010http://lovevideoplayhouse.ning.com/profile/Kevin
<p>Amy, I forgot the most important thing!</p>
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<p>Thank you! (((hugs)))</p>
<p>Amy, I forgot the most important thing!</p>
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<p>Thank you! (((hugs)))</p> Amy, signing the papers doesn…tag:lovevideoplayhouse.ning.com,2011-11-03:2426069:Comment:1248142011-11-03T05:54:56.444Zphoto2010http://lovevideoplayhouse.ning.com/profile/Kevin
<p>Amy, signing the papers doesn't mean I have to go. Nobody has power of attorney over me, though they have tried to get it. Decent assisted living facilities cost about $6000 a month in CT, yes, a month. If I am cajoled to sign power of attorney papers, everything is off. Signing the nursing home papers only puts me on a rotating waiting list in case I actually need a nursing home at some point.</p>
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<p>More and more I feel aligned with Syd's neighbor regarding nursing homes. That is…</p>
<p>Amy, signing the papers doesn't mean I have to go. Nobody has power of attorney over me, though they have tried to get it. Decent assisted living facilities cost about $6000 a month in CT, yes, a month. If I am cajoled to sign power of attorney papers, everything is off. Signing the nursing home papers only puts me on a rotating waiting list in case I actually need a nursing home at some point.</p>
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<p>More and more I feel aligned with Syd's neighbor regarding nursing homes. That is not how I plan to</p>
<p>go out.</p>
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<p>Oh! I WILL be talking with a very kind woman who works for the state and advocates for disabled</p>
<p>folks. She knows a lot about the legal stuff.</p>
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<p>One thing that saddens me is how predictable the actions of my family are. They want to retire to</p>
<p>Italy and dump me in a home. Classic and fu**ed up.</p> When you say you agreed to si…tag:lovevideoplayhouse.ning.com,2011-11-02:2426069:Comment:1246152011-11-02T18:03:50.933ZBlancheNoEhttp://lovevideoplayhouse.ning.com/profile/BlancheNoE
<p>When you say you agreed to sign, does that mean you already signed, Kevin?</p>
<p>If not, don't. Muster your mother's energy. I know you can. Try to remember that the universe really is on your side. NOW,...have you considered an assisted living facility? I don't know how they are in your area but the ones here are really very nice. I had clients that were in their 70s, had multiple health problems and swore that they NEVER wanted to see the inside of a nursing home/ retirement home and they…</p>
<p>When you say you agreed to sign, does that mean you already signed, Kevin?</p>
<p>If not, don't. Muster your mother's energy. I know you can. Try to remember that the universe really is on your side. NOW,...have you considered an assisted living facility? I don't know how they are in your area but the ones here are really very nice. I had clients that were in their 70s, had multiple health problems and swore that they NEVER wanted to see the inside of a nursing home/ retirement home and they thought the assisted living facility was just a cruel disguise for either of the aforementioned. After touring it they became less skeptical and a month after they moved in, I'd never seen them so happy.</p>
<p>Still,....Kevin, it's your life and you need to stand up for yourself when there's no one else to do it.</p>
<p>If I've learned anything in the last 2 and 1/2 years it's that only *I* can be my own best advocate.</p>
<p>I'm sorry you're going through this.</p>